WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION ABOUT HUMANITY AND PARENTING
It may surprise you, but there is a lot.
No one likes to be spoken to like they’re a child. In fact, as any of you who are parents know, the more you instruct a child, or let’s be honest, yell at them to do anything, the less they are apt to do it. We once were the same way, because as a child, there is something about exerting your independence, regardless if you are doing so at an auspicious time. That isn’t the point. Learning to lean on yourself is one of the most important things we glean as we grow up, and depending on how our parents accept or refute our ability to branch out can often make the difference in our lives.
I cannot put into words the amount of sleep I have lost in seeing the direction our nation is heading. Nor can I calculate the amount of words I have lost due to lack of sleep. But I have been able to watch with a vast curiosity at the America that now embraces everything we once fought our hardest to stand against: iron fists, hatred, vitriol, discrimination, pessimism and fear.
You can learn a lot from trying to discuss this situation with a voter on the other side. Since I’m much more socially liberal, I have watched and listened with interest in those who find Donald Trump appealing. I get that for some it’s just the fact he’s not sitting in gridlock, which had become our government norm (mostly from the right if you look at what they have actually proposed in ideas — um, little), but it seems that MAGA voters just want something done period.
Perhaps discussing is not really what the goal should be. For one, MAGA voters are about the here and now. They are not really concerned as much about twenty years from now as they are right this very instant. If you listen intently to what they have to say, you will hear an intense amount of anger, some resentment and often disgust and worry about where their American dream went. It’s not to say you’ll agree with their idea of what the American dream is, but it is relevant for them. For the most polarized of them, i.e. racists, they fear that they are disappearing (as many white people do for some reason) and perhaps don’t matter. They are tired of the educated telling them what they should do or what is best for them when the educated don’t often understand, seem to care, and more to the point, actually do something that effects change.
We know from above what it’s like when someone else tells us what is best for us. Often they are spitting into the wind. There is no purpose. This should remind us that 1) as adults we shouldn’t speak this way to others, and 2) that sometimes we have to let people get their way in order to find out the truth.
When I listen to our press secretary drone on and on about the Gulf of Mexico being called the Gulf of America (what is considered to be a ridiculous argument with what I would reason are more pertinent issues) that fear of not declaring new importance for America is made loud and clear. Sure, we all know what its name has been for many centuries now. But before that it had no name, and does it matter so much if we change it? For the right, their is no way to understand why the left is so self-loathing as to not want to take back what is rightfully ours. It’s a Gulf that borders five states. However, I as a liberal hear this change and see this message as an intentional misnomer laced with a misanthropic, anti-immigrant trope: We need to change this name because we are better than Mexicans. Or we cannot accept this gulf of water that we share with Mexico as being labeled one-sided. I do this based on the past rhetoric from not necessarily Trump, though he’s had some moments, but from his immigration tsar, Stephen Miller. Miller is not just far right, but he’s an anarchist at his core, not to mention a child of privilege, having grown up just over the hill from me in cozy Santa Monica, CA. Track record and ideology does matter when it is extremely polarized. Less so when you’re in the middle as it is only logical you fall that way because you’re willing to consider both sides.
It is important we teach children the idea of building a reputation and track record. When you repeat missteps in life, it follows you around as you seek better opportunities and higher employ. Take it from somebody who knows, like myself, who suffers extreme anxiety at times, suffers from an attention deficit which is partially corrected by medicine. If you’ve read this blog you know I’m not my best proof reader. It hasn’t helped my case with people at times when submitting queries or writing samples. Yet, I have to keep going. But it doesn’t help my track record at all. Even if I were to put out seven straight blogs that were error-proof, readers might still call that an anomaly.
I’m reminded time and again, when we see patterns of behavior from those in office who continually return to us surprised they don’t get the benefit of the doubt, that how you behave matters. This matters not just in politics, but in how you deal with your family members and friends as well.
While we certainly can and will consider what we want a future administrations to be as concerned about, shouldn’t we also consider what kind of track record this will leave for America.
As a parent, my wife and I developed a credo for our family, which is “Above all, kindness.” Not that America has to be that, but are we willing to give up the idea that America was built on, that of a dream that anyone who really works hard and keeps at it can achieve a good life? It’s not always the case. But kindness will certainly lead you to more relationships and contacts, which leads to bridge-building, which leads to opportunities.
In watching Trump put together his Health Department, it hasn’t been hard to see what is forming. The anger and fear among many people that vaccines are still causing autism (not any other of a thousand possible factors) is a legitimate fear since Andrew Wakefield’s 1998 case study that MMR was linked to developmental disorders in children. The paper had a very low sample size and was immediately refuted and eventually withdrawn. The folks at The Lancet Group had failed to disclose Wakefield’s financial interests (e.g., Wakefield had been funded by lawyers who had been engaged by parents in lawsuits against vaccine-producing companies). However, The Lancet Group exonerated Wakefield and his colleagues from charges of ethical violations and scientific misconduct.
Nevertheless, the damage of the misinformation has persevered, especially after Game Show Personality and Model, Jenny McCarthy, took to the airwaves to declare her son acquired autism from his vaccines. She has never recanted that, but her rhetoric softened and changed over the years. Simply googling, you can find this information - Globally, measles cases increased by 79% in 2023, and the World Health Organization (WHO) estimated that measles killed more than 130,000 people, mostly children, in 2022. In the U.S., measles was declared eliminated in 2000, but recent outbreaks and rising case numbers have threatened this status.
The rejuvenation in measles cases is already alarming. To date 717 cases of measles have taken hold in an outbreak in West Texas and three deaths, one of which was a child. In New Mexico, they are saying they have in the range of 50-99. Perhaps those numbers sound hardly startling to anyone who is familiar with what the COVID outbreak did worldwide. But then again, the tragedy is in the fact all of these cases were entirely preventable.
Chihuahua, Mexico, as part of the world resurgence of measles, has seen an outbreak this year linked to Texas as well. In other words, it’s spreading. Since the US has seen fit to withdraw again from the WHO and retract foreign aid, specifically vaccination programs overseas, we can expect things to get worse in the next ten years.
Imagine what will happen to Africa in the next decade. I know many people aren’t looking that far out, but it is because of our funding sent to poor third world countries that many of these diseases never arise here now. Measles, Mumps, Rubella, Polio, Tuberculosis, Smallpox, Typhoid, etc.
There’s a famous saying to not bite your own nose off to spite your face. Sometimes thinking in the short term works well, like when you’re running late to an appointment or promised someone you’d be somewhere and need to rearrange your schedule to make things work. But often times, focusing only on the short term becomes a huge mistake when there are important steps coming down the road.
If my child injures his leg playing soccer, looking to the fact his next game is a playoff game may see him opt to play injured so he’s seen by his team as a tough player. But if the result in doing so causes him severe ligament damage or surgery, his long term goals could be completely wiped out.
America may fear vaccines and may want to save money, but what we’re not looking at is the long history where diseases that affected many of our parents, and even killed our ancestors, have been removed to afterthoughts the past four to five decades.
According to PBS, which the administration just cut funds for, Global TB cases increased by 4.6% from 2020 to 2023. In the U.S., TB cases rose by more than 15% from 2022 to 2023. Tuberculosis is among the highest killers in areas of poverty and disrupted access to healthcare.
We should all be reminded that what our government spends money on we often don’t think about. Rarely, do we need to consider it. With the rise of anger and resentment has come an ‘America First’ jingoism. Even closer to the point is our natural inclination to put our family first of course. However, I teach my kids that we are all connected, whether we like to think so or not. You never know how one simple action can change lives forever.
Case in point is my marriage. It was one my future wife’s best friends that started looking for Jewish men for her online and found my profile. Along with a few others, she forwarded them to her and encouraged her to take a chance. Not two years later we were married. Because of her, I have a wife and two amazing boys. She helped to create my family and I’m forever thankful for it.
Those who scoff at the globalization of the planet are naught for long. It was and is inevitable. China and Russia’s lack of environmental standards will affect all of us as global warming trends continue with increasingly violent storms and extreme temperature changes. Businesses will always seek forward progress, and when you’ve succeeded in market saturation within your own borders, you will branch out.
So what can we learn:
a) Speaking down to anyone will turn off their ears, and the key to communication is listening, then speaking.
b) Track record is everything. It can follow you around forever, so make yours a good one, and try to teach that to your child.
c) We should consider the short term, but in most cases things move slower then we would like and it’s good to have a long game in mind.
d) We are all connected. Everything we do on a daily basis affects something or someone and changes the rest of the way the day goes had we done something differently. So choose kindness. It’s the easiest thing in the world. Try it.
Good luck out there, and Godspeed.